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     Now, I’m not Jewish (well I’m Ungodly Heathen of course, but I didn’t originate as Jewish either), but I do attend Seder activities every year at a friends house, a tradition that has become a treasured holiday for me (and not just for the inevitable nekid hot tubbing that usually follows).   For the past few years, I’ve found myself sitting at the table, thinking about how to rationalize it within my life.  I’ve felt the need to, simply because I try to remain as honest with myself as possible, and that includes my practice within certain customs.  If it goes against what I may believe, or feel is true, then I feel that my presence there is nothing more than an insult to what those customs are, and out of respect for those customs, I shouldn’t be there (a little different from being physically removed from churches in Europe, but that’s a different story).  Now my need is not driven from the fact that I’m not Jewish in particular, but more from the fact that it is a religious ceremony, and I am a Heathen, a founding member and one of the Ruling Triumvirate at that.  And yet for a decade and a half now, I have come to this table, joined with others, participated in this very deep and meaningful ceremony, and for me to continue, I must be able to absorb it into my own world, else I become but a shadow playing at something far deeper in color.  Over the past two years, it has grown far more clear that this very ceremony not only in fact represent my beliefs (when twisted a touch), and is not only an extremely good example of them, but a celebration of them.

        Please understand, my viewpoint, as skewed as it is, is in no way meant to diminish, or underplay the countless tragedies and hardships the Jewish people have endured over time, but is merely showing how I have taken their lessons and applied them into my own life.  Seder is primarily a lesson of how the Jewish people overcame such great adversities, through their faith in God, and his love for them, and to remind us how his love can help us today.  Since my God, and my faith differ, it is merely a transposing of those lessons, that make it add up so perfectly.  My God, is merely love; the love of family, the love of friends, and the love of those most dear to our hearts (the love of porn is a different animal).  There is no greater heaven than to be surrounded by such love, and is that not what we all attain to in this world, a momentary promised land for the life weary.  For no matter what we may achieve in life, however great or small, what does it matter without those we love to share it with.  All through the great and petty hardships we deal with every passing day, we are sustained, through the love and support of those closest to us, by a word, a touch, or just the mere fact that they are there to endure along with us.  Even the simple mementos of our past times, whispering voices in our head, or solitary phone calls in the middles of the night, are the answers to our prayers, our unspoken pleas for help, reminders of what we are fighting for.

        How we, as group celebrate Seder, is the prime example of these truths.  We take such a solemn event, and through each other’s company (and large amounts of wine) take these remembrances of tragedy, and learn to laugh through them, and take comfort in each other.  We perform these ceremonies to help build our faith in religion, to in fact bring us closer to God.  In those moments we spend together, we are tightening the bonds between us, increasing the love we all share.  We create memories, finding the time to reconnect with each other, to express our love for each other, to extend that hand which might have been forgotten.

Seder is usually overseen by the elders of a group, in theory, those closest to God, those we attain to be one day.  In my view, it still is, those elders being Gilgepops and Gilgemom, and that God being the love of a couple carrying them throughout the days of this world, a goal all of us share.  In deeper pools, does not God embrace all those that would have Him, aid all those willing to accept his help?  It has been my experience that every group of friends when growing up, have at least one set of parents that accept everyone, make our problems their own, their love ours, hands ever outreached to aid us in our journey, and as we grow older and breed ourselves, it is our hope to turn into those very same parents for our own children and their friends.   Every one of us, at one point in time, have found them stretching out a hand, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or a bed to sleep in.  They offer these things willingly, because of their love of us; just as God would for those he loves.  Seder is also traditionally the time when elders are to reach out to those that have lost their faith, and help bring them back into the fold.  Taking that lesson, we often extend invitations outward, to people we know that seemingly have become lost, left feeling a little empty from the relationships born of work groups, sports teams, or Myspace pages.  We welcome them into a world of deeper bonds, provided they survive the jarring journey that our gatherings generally involve (if you saw Gilgemesh nekid, you’d understand).

But alas, I’ve parted from the true subject, back to Seder.  We discuss all the obstacles, persecutions, and trials that the Jewish people went through in their time in Egypt, and in life we as people, our friendships, our loves, go through a great many pains (again not trying to diminish), and like God, it is our love for each other sees us through.  Almost daily new weights are added to our shoulders, making life seem so much harder to bear, to cloud our eyes from what it’s all for.  And it is through those times that our love is tested, appears far more distant, an ethereal element we have lost grasp of, until the voice, the hand, the smile of that love shines through, and grows ever stronger, raising us up so much higher.  At one time I could even match up the plagues with mirror images (greed, hastily spoken words, jealousy, loss, etc), but that was merely an exercise in artistic fancy, and has no place here. We taste their tears, eat of their bitter food, all in remembrance of what pains they suffered, what little they had to sustain them.  In our lives, we have shed many painful tears, had times when there seemed nothing to give us the courage to go on, when there seemed no salvation to our plights, but it is through our love of each other, each others out stretched hands, unspoken sympathies, beers on moonless nights, that helped us to strive on. Many Jews have been lost throughout time due to the evils of others; the evils of life itself, just as we have lost loved ones, suffered shattered friendships, or just found gaping canyons where gentle paths once stood.  In those moments when we remember those lives lost/ those friendships broken, that their lives/those happy times, gain immortality, those pains gain reason.

  Even in the empty seat left for one foretold to come, I find reflections of my heart.  For there is always the loved one for whom we hope to return to us, the one we feel can ease our burdens, or simply wish to see again.  The Jews gathered this night, and marked their doors to protect their first born from deaths icy grasp.  And we as a group gather, our laughter marking our doors, declaring to life, that our love will not be broken this night.

        I have forever been fond, during gatherings of friends, to raise a toast at those most joyous of times, in remembrance to those that have gone before, to those not with us that night. But it is just as necessary to remember those that remain, that still see us through day to day.  Just as it is important it is to remind ourselves of all those that got us to this point, it is just as important to remember those that are still by our side, and carry us into tomorrow.  This is what Seder has become to me, a declaration to life; that all the love I have known, and share with those this night, shall continue to light my way, no matter how dark it may seem at times, and why I gladly participate in this celebration that would seem so alien to me, and yet, is a deeper part of me than even I realized.

Now lets get that stick, that beat the dog, that ate the cat, that humped the sheep, that ate the pants, that I took off while in the hot tub, that Gilgepops bought for 2 zuzum’s.