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     The New Disney-Pixar film “Wall E” is a cute story, enjoyable for both children and adults, which is pretty impressive, since there’s basically no real dialogue for the first hour.  A love story between a pair of robots, trying to save themselves, the Earth, and the Human Race itself, all in beautiful CGI, whose glistening effects of metal, movement, and expression surpass all that’s come before it.  Truly, a well done piece, with lots of humor and emotion expressed solely by movement, position of optical sensors, and that lonely child we all hold deep inside of us.

      For those that missed the media blitz, the basic plot is, with the Earth overwhelmed by trash, the Human Race takes to the stars, leaving robots to clean up the mess, awaiting the day they can return.  Flash forward 700 years, we find Wall E, the sole working trash compacting robot left on the planet, his only companion a cockroach, still working on collecting all the trash we left, leaving looming skyscrapers of trash, dwarfing all the abandoned buildings below.  The rest of the Earth is dust.  Well dust and trash, till one day he finds a solitary plant, just starting to bud.  Coincidentally that same day, EVE (pronounced E-VA) arrives.  EVE is basically a probe sent back to earth to see if any life has returned.  Of course they fall in love (well Wall e does, it takes her a bit longer., Doesn’t it always?).  Through a series of mishaps, and a battle against a robot gone crazy, they finally bring the humans back to Earth to begin life again.  Honestly, its a cute and touching story, on the surface.

     The sub plot of it falls well above the targeted children audience’s heads.  What they don’t notice is that the giant global big box company Buy N Large, is basically the reason for all the trash.  While they seem to be our saviors, building the ships and systems that will keep us safe and secure in space, while their robots clean up the Earth, its actually all the trash from the stuff they sold that got us shot up there to begin with.  Well, they sold and we bought.  And while we float around happily on our hoverchairs, vid screen directly infront of our face so we can talk to our friends, or shop for the last sale items, it is also the reason our bodies grow far too fat and useless, so much so that we can barely walk, much less move on our own.  The vid screens block all our vision, and more importantly, keep us from seeing the world (space) around us (”I didn’t know we had a pool” is a repeated line).  It was too quick to catch, but a series of pictures seemed to suggest that humans no longer live past 25, though whether that is due to life style, or the roboto el loco trying to prevent the discovery of life, is never really explained.

  The reason this is a Rant and not a Review is simply this.  With your child’s ticket, you get this nifty “made in china” rubber watch.  Not only that, but 3-5 free promotional cards (made from non recycled stock), all wrapped nicely in Polypropylene.  You know, that clear plastic crap everything is wrapped in that you tear off and toss where ever is most convenient (usually the floor).  This followed by the $17 mega soda, popcorn, and 2 year old JuJu Fruit combo that you simply MUST buy before settling into your seats (the same trash that will end up on the floor 1/2 hour into the movie).  Forget the fact that the watch will either be broken or forgotten in a week’s time.  Here you are sitting down to watch a movie that’s really saying all the useless crap we buy is killing the world, but here’s some FREE useless crap to go with it.  I don’t know if the subplot was some sort of fuck you to Disney that Pixar slipped in to show their disdain, or they just have a sick sense of humor.  Especially considering all the Wall E toys, bookbags, pencils, lunch boxes, plush animals (plush robots?), humidifiers, phones, toilet seats, clothes, beach towels, airplanes, pasta, tvs, stupid clothes for little rat dogs, diaper disposal units (though this would be kinda cool), video games, and the 13 direct to video sequels Disney will churn out in a year; that are due to appear at a store near you.  In fact, its going to appear at the self same Wallmarts, Targets, K Marts, Sam’s Clubs, Costco’s, Best Buys, etc that Buy N Large represents in the movie.  Does Pixar already have the space ship to get off the planet or something?  Is this movie just their little Fuck you to the viewing public, showing their disdain for our willingness to buy into all this shit and completely miss the big picture, simply because it comes in a cute and convenient little package?  Or was this simply a honest and meaningful statement that got lost somewhere in the Marketing Machine, all in the name of the mighty dollar?

     Frankly, I’m not going to stop shopping at Target, or Best Buy.  Fortunately, I’m too poor to buy all the crap I would like, so I already reduce my contribution to the destroying of the world, over and above an conscious effort I might make.  The most ironic thing about it all is, all that trash that Wall E so carefully stacked up high into the sky, is actually more likely to decompose that way, then any “proper” disposal of it.  We have gotten so worried about all the damage to the enviorment that our trash can do, that landfills these days are sealed, so that the trash won’t leak into it as it decomposes.  Unfortunately they are kept from the elements as well, so there is no actual factor acting upon them TO make them decompose.  So any organic, natural, biodegradable products you do buy, unless they are specifically recycled, they lie sealed in a tomb somewhere, just as you threw them out, and will be that way for a hundred years.  That napkin you threw out of your car, it’ll be gone in a few weeks, its just chances are it’ll just kill a few things before it happens.  Damn where’s my space ship.