Heathens
Back in the mid-nineties, a group of friends gathered, and came to face two enemies; a world against them, and a lot of tequila. The World had tried to label them, shun them, suppress them, and now was attempting to categorize and market to them. The tequila was Jose Cuervo. Facing these two formidable opponents, the friends gathered all of their courage, grace and knowledge, and chose to attack the tequila first. Tequila, seeing its ranks rapidly being defeated and consumed, quickly called upon its allies of beer and rum, and gave command to the great General Jack Daniels. The battle was glorious, violent, deafening, and brought on sights that made onlookers attempt to tear out their own eyes from the horror of it all. Through out the night they battled, neither giving quarter, refusing to yield(except for half an hour when they cops showed up). As the harsh light of dawn arose to the soft sounds of vomiting, the friends laid scattered, nekid, and soaking in a hot tub, strewn about the battlefield. Victorious, but hollow(due to large amounts of vomiting), for they were still without a plan to defeat the greater of the their two foes(plus all the vomiting). It is out of this stabbing light of morning that a champion arose from the blurry haze, some slurred murmur, which grew into a hope, an idea, and one so crazy, it just might work. One by one, the friends arose, joining up with this champion (accompanied by more screams and horrors, as they had forgotten to get dressed yet). One by one they pledged their lives to this ideal and took up the mantle of this cult of individuality, the Religion that would become “The Ungodly Heathen Nekid Bastard Children” (or Ungodly Heathen NBC for those that are language sensitive).
Mission Statement (to do list)
- Take over the world (then sell it back when the market improves)
- subsection A - steal the Pope’s Hat.
- Kick Ass
- Chew Bubblegum
- Buy more bubblegum, cause we’re out
- Steal Underpants
- You are wondering what goes here, no?
- Make money
- See half the World Nekid (preferably the female half)
- Prepare for the upcoming Zombie War.
- I forget right now
